At Last

December 1, 2013

Dear Friends,

            “What if he has done so in order to make known the riches of his glory for the objects of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—?” Romans 9:23

            According to my brief research, there are only 6 “What if?” questions in the Bible.  You may ask, ‘What if there is more than that?’  There could be, but probably not many more.  Three out of the six are found in Romans, where Paul is asking about the possibility of the salvation of the gentiles—people who were not Jewish and would not, according to the Jews themselves, be worthy of salvation from God.  One is found in John’s gospel.  One is in Acts.  The only one in the Old Testament is in Genesis. We tend to ask a lot of “What if?” kinds of questions—and they usually involve a great deal of doubt and fear.  My point is this—there are only 6 in the entire Bible—almost exclusively from the New Testament.  Imagining the future with doubt did not seem to be part of the vocabulary or the line of thinking of many of those writing down what would become part of scripture for God’s people.

            As you read this, we are likely just about to receive our new daughter, Vivienne, in Zhengzhou, China.  What a thought!  Part of my reason for including the word, “likely” is that we are a week away from our departure.  Because Kelly and I both work for religious institutions, the process for completing our visa applications to enter China is a bit complex.  If you are part of the media, military or a religious institution, there are limitations on the length of a visa permitting one to stay in the country.  We will probably receive 30 day visas, so we don’t have a lot of extra time in case there’s any sort of delay.

Since we are part of the highly restricted category, we’ve felt a bit like the gentiles—kind of on the outside.  Anybody working for any other industry, company or corporation who does not have these restrictions could have applied weeks ago.  As it turns out for us, we have had to follow some more rigid guidelines.

As we await the visas to arrive, potentially the day before we are set to depart, we are a bit anxious.  “What if?” questions are running through our heads.  We have coveted the prayers of those who know we are cutting things close.  At one point I said to Kelly, “Why don’t we just deal with what we expect to happen instead of the ‘what if’ questions?”  I am not sure I totally believed it myself, but there are so many circumstances beyond our control as a part of this journey, I thought we might as well start practicing our flexible stance on the process—even before we leave.  As it turns out, we have had exactly what we’ve needed every step of the way.  We did make a few mistakes on a few forms, but overall we’ve moved through this past 13 months without any major hiccups.  It has not been without its stressful moments, but we have only had control over so many things at a time.  It turns out we cannot control the Postal Service, or the processing times, or the lines we’ve stood in, or the people we’ve met along the way.  All we’ve been able to do is what has been right in front of us.

            And that’s the real message, isn’t it?  We may lack patience, we may have control issues, and we may just have to give it up to God in prayer in the end.  It’s better, I think, to start with the prayer instead.  We can’t wait to see you again and share this exciting new addition to our family. 

Peace, Love, Hope and Joy,  Tim, Kelly, Micah and Liam. . . and Vivi

Giving Thanks

November 15, 2013

Dear Friends,

            “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

            The Greek word for what we call The Lord’s Supper in the tradition of our sacraments is “Eucharistia”.  The word means “thanksgiving”.  In many of the Christian denominations this is referred to as the Eucharist.  When we gather around the table to give thanks, we are thanking God for all of the things that are offered us through Jesus Christ.  But what Paul reminds us through the Thessalonian letters is that we are to be giving thanks all the time—in all circumstances.  This is hard.  It goes above and beyond.  But it reflects the kind of living we’re called upon to live as Christians.  God provides for our every need—in times of plenty and in want (as the marriage ceremony says).  These are circumstantial.  We are called upon to live grateful lives—filled with gratitude.

            In a training I was attending last year, one of the workshops was focused on the spiritual life of prayer and discernment.  One of the prayers offered for us to consider was so simple and yet so powerful all at once.  This was all it said:  “All gift.”  Wow.  If we look at the things God provides—both what we would call the good and the bad—we are to see it as all gift.  What a challenge, and yet what a reality about the way God sees our lives as opposed to the way we see ourselves.

            In reflecting on these words from Paul about giving thanks in all circumstances, the person of Job comes to mind.  Job loses everything.  His wife, who is still by his side, says to him, “Do you still persist in your integrity?  Curse God, and die.”  Yet Job remains steadfast in his belief, “Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad?”  Job never blames God for all the bad that has come his way.  What faith he had.

            In the midst of this time of year, the calendar dictates that the farmers reap the harvest of their labors.  We give thanks for the bounty that is provided from the field, which then provides for all sorts of things that we both need and desire.  And in seeing all that has come from God’s hand, we are inspired to respond with gratitude.  But the larger perspective that God calls us to have is to see everything as a gift—even and especially in the times it may be most difficult to do so.  How can we give thanks when we have lost a loved one?  How can we give thanks when we are laid off?  How can we give thanks when tragedy strikes?  How can we give thanks when we are without hope?  It is not easy.  Our faith provides a foundation for this and for many other times when we may not feel like giving thanks.  If we are too tied to the things of this world, we cannot have that heavenly perspective.  If we are too easily influenced by the changes of day-to-day living, then it will be impossible to give thanks when things get tough.  Prayers that do not cease—a living prayer—allows us to think Godly thoughts.  Otherwise, we are only focused on this earthly life.  This perspective is full of limitations.

            God provides.  All gift.  May we continue to think about living our thanksgiving each and every day.  Blessings abound! 

Peace, Love, Hope and Joy,  Tim

Hope Does Not Disappoint

November 1, 2013

Dear Friends,

            “Hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”  Romans 5:5

This part of Romans chapter 5 is one of the more well-known from that letter of Paul.  It’s almost cliché.  But when we think about the journey of this congregation, it has been defined by a hopeful people—a hope-filled people.  This congregation continues to live into hope, and it doesn’t matter whether we are moving through times of celebration, or times of challenge.  The steady pulse of the body here is pounding with hope.

            It’s as though each of you here has taken this passage from Romans, and actually believed it.  Hope does not disappoint.  We have seen times of change and times of transition.  Since I’ve been part of the ministry here, we have been in some kind of transition.  I don’t know what it means to be stagnant at First Presbyterian.  I am not sure there has been a time that can be described with this word.   It’s not to say that there have not been seasons of challenging situations; times where we have not known what the future holds.  But the transition has not defined the people here.  The steadfast love of God has defined you.

            Starting on the first of this month, we welcome the Rev. Lucia Oerter, who has been preparing for the interim period with us.  As a reminder, the Session is charged with the responsibility to contract with Interim ministers in a congregation.  At the very least, we expect Lucia to be with us for 1 year.  This time period may be extended as the process warrants it.  Though I addressed this in a previous writing, the interim time is very important in the Presbyterian Church.  As the congregation has said farewell to its previous moderator of Session and its pastor, the interim time is intended to bring about clarity and focus in the vision of a congregation’s future.  There is a process that seeks to accomplish this clarity.  Lucia will lead us through many of these things during her time here.  While I have had some training in this process, it is best to follow her lead as she comes in for a specific purpose and her calling is to do this very thing.  Also as a reminder, I’m still the Associate Pastor here, and my call remains as it has been.  In the time between Rebekah Maul’s leadership and Lucia Oerter’s leadership, the Session has asked me to be the moderator of Session and acting Head of Staff.  As soon as Lucia is here, she will assume these roles.  The timing is nothing short of the moving of the Holy Spirit.  Lucia and I will have between 3-5 weeks together before Kelly and I are likely heading to China and at which time I will take a short family leave of absence upon our return.

            There are many things that come out of our collective life of hope.  We have had nothing short of excellent leadership during this pre-interim time.  The Session has been stellar.  The Interim Search Team did their work in remarkable time.  They did not miss a beat.  Yet, their work has been deeply rooted-in and guided by the Lord.  We owe them a great deal of thanks.  The steps to come will involve the larger congregation in many ways—reflecting on our history, visioning a future as well as future leadership, clarifying our identity, and all of these to bring about the priority we claim as Christ’s servants in the world.  I continue to pray for each part of this amazing congregation, and I’m so grateful for the ongoing support you offer our entire family (including Vivienne) as we serve among you here.   

Peace, Love, Hope and Joy,  Tim

Lent and The Civil Wars

Joy Williams and John Paul White of The Civil Wars

Dear Friends,
     Here it is. It’s March. I can’t believe it either. And February was even longer than usual this year! Lent came early, so we are into this season that asks us to slow down and pause and reflect. As the journey of Jesus goes, so goes the journey of our faith. Lent brings with it some very meaningful themes, including the darkness of Jesus’ last few days on earth. Yet within that darkness lies the hope of the light that springs forth once darkness is overcome—once death is overcome.
     Many of you know that I am a lover of music and have a deep appreciate of all sorts of genres, but mostly the way that music seems to pick up where our spoken and written language leaves off. Through melody, harmony, and lyric, the combination expresses a creativity that we just can’t duplicate through other mediums.
I appreciate music through worship as much as any other parts of that action. I cannot imagine a time of worship without song, nor can I just sing the melody line in most of our hymns—I have to sing the harmonies that go with it. And I usually lean much more on the expressions of the music itself—for as much as I appreciate language, for me personally, the lyrics are not the core of the song, but the icing on the cake.
     I recently became a big fan of a duo called The Civil Wars. Made up of Joy Williams and John Paul White, both formerly solo singer/songwriters on their own, they were randomly paired together at a songwriting workshop in Nashville a few years ago. What came out of their time together was a creativity and
musical talent unlike any I’ve ever seen or heard. Granted most music appeals to the heart and soul of each individual listener, but these two immediately captivated my complete attention. I started buying their music, watching their YouTube videos, following them on social media sites and on and on. I even wanted to travel to Atlanta to catch (what was then) their closest performance. Now just ask my wife, Kelly: I don’t ever do this kind of thing.  I don’t get “smitten” or “obsessed” by musical groups or movie stars. But what they were
producing was speaking to me. I asked for concert tickets for my birthday, and I don’t ever ask for anything for my birthday. When they extended their tour to include a Tampa show—I was there! Kelly went with me and I delighted in seeing these musical heroes of mine. But what’s interesting about my focus on their music is that most of their songs have to do with darkness—with the complexities and nuances of being in a committed relationship—of heartbreak and love all at once—of that same collection of contrasts that are implied
through their group’s name. They admittedly have struck a chord with the reality that life is not so simply light or dark, but rather a daily struggle between the two.
     As we live into this Lenten season a bit deeper, we understand that there are daily struggles of light and darkness—civil wars that wage between love and hate, between the moments of dusk and dawn. I can see these wars waging in the lives of people I know and love both near and far. I can see these wars waging
in our political spectrum—filled with contrasts a bit more each day. I can see these wars wage between the “haves” and the “have-nots”. And I know that Jesus lived and preached into these contrasts every moment of his life. In searching for the light, may we take joy in the journey, acknowledging the darkness, and seeking
to be those who can live by faith through anything life may bring.

Peace, Love, Hope and Joy,
Tim

Penn State Prayers

I graduated from the Pennsylvania State University in May of 1997.  My memories of college skip from football games to classrooms to parties to friendships forged there.  The atrocities committed by one of the former football coaches have left me incredibly sad.  I'm not looking for explanations or excuses, but rather I'm saddened by the continual state of sin that pervades an otherwise perfect world.  I have Penn State pride, because I was part of something that was institutional, and full of power--and it was on a massive scale.  Everything, from the cheers at Beaver Stadium, to the challenges of scheduling the right classes, to the connectivity that has been created by that University--everything happened en masse.  You never did anything alone, and so with such a scale always at your fingertips, both the victory and the defeat happened with intensity--and it affected everyone.

I lived in Pittsburgh, PA for 7 years, marveling at the hold the Steelers had (and continue to have) on that entire Western Pennsylvania culture.  If you want to have a conversation with another person in that part of the world, you'd better be able to speak football--at least a little bit.  Passion was defined by your proximity to the game--whether it was a High School Friday Night rivalry, a college noon-day kick-off, or a Sunday afternoon game with the NFL.  And make no mistake about it--whether it's a good season or a throw-away record, when the Steelers lose, the entire town plunges into depression on Monday morning.  The grey sky that shields the sun for months at a time doesn't help the mood.

I do love football, as well as many other sports that distract us from the realities of everyday life that are not so pretty to watch.  So when those everyday realities collide with our escapism, the mix is really distressing.  How can I watch Penn State play football without this awful association now?  How do I enjoy all of the blue and white and the pride it stirs within, without the association that those who have been paid to represent those color combinations have really betrayed so many people, whether out of naivete or simple fear of the consequences?  The ties we have to football, and especially to college football, run much deeper than they probably should.  Just like our professional athletes, these public figures have thrust upon them expectations of behavior that are, quite frankly, unfair--unfair only because they are expectations that negate the possibility of human error.  But as my wife always says, "perception is reality", and so whether the expectations are deserved or not, they become reality.  And that's what makes the pain so much more real--not only that these things were committed by such public figures, but that they all had direct associations with our university, and with our football team.

I have to say that another feeling that accompanies this for me, is that of being alone--if you count being alone with 40,000 within a student body and with nearly 600,000 living alumni.  Unless this was your school, it doesn't have the same association.  While I don't know who wrote it, this letter shows real class from a similar school that went through recent scandal of a very different kind.  In a way that only exists through playful rivalry, I have a new respect for Ohio State after reading this letter of commiseration.

Ultimately, it's only football, and it is just a game.  But the players in that game--and in the University settings which can offer so much and take away just as much--they are people who strive for their best and who can fall down just as hard.  While nothing has come to trial yet, the pain that is yet to be experienced seems inevitable.  I pray for Jerry Sandusky and his illness--inhuman though it seems--a problem that plagues our society in ways we cannot truly know, because so much of the crime is so screamingly silent.  Maybe the the public nature of this scandal will remind us of the deep, deep pain that is spread by pedophilia and sexual predation.  I'll pray for Joe Paterno, Graham Spanier, Tim Curley and Gary Schultz, among others who have probably acted out of panic and fear, hoping that such a horrible situation might just go away.  It never goes away--especially for the victims, as well as for those who have lied to themselves about the crimes they have committed. I'll pray for the families and the abused, who will never have the opportunity to live the lives they led before they were abused, and who must face their own memories each moment.  These things are not easily remedied.

And I hope that, somehow, my school will recover and learn from the revelation that has come in to the light.  Just as it is within the imperfect body called the Church, we do not cease to be Penn State--we still are. . .warts and all.  We just might not be cheering quite so loudly for awhile. 

Stupid things that mean the world . . .

The day after my wife posted a wonderful blog about our son, Liam, wanting a doll, I encountered a scene that concluded with a great deal of frustration.  Upon returning home from a church meeting with both boys in tow, I discovered that our separation anxiety-ridden dog had dismantled Liam's Buzz Lightyear doll to the point of unrecognizable mutilation.  I do hope, for those of you into the CSI shows, that Buzz had dental records.  As my boys sifted through the polyester insulation that once filled Buzz, it was like watching a horror flick where the tantalizing lure of the stuffing helped them see right past the present reality.  Poor Liam never even saw the carcass.

My response was less playful.  And I must apologize to my dog, Heinz.  He was obviously frustrated that we had left him all day and were home for a quick dinner and then left him again.  But through my rage, I wasn't seeing things from his wounded perspective.  I was fightin' mad.  And I'm confident Jesus says, in a number of ways, don't take revenge, but he had hit me where it hurt.  And I don't care, quite frankly, whether it's a doll or anything else--Liam loved that stupid thing--and my stupid dog took that stupid thing away from him and I was as enraged as I can ever remember.  The worst part was thatt the dog did not know why.  Human logic would tell me that his cowering at my rage was because he knew why he was bad, but Cesar Millan will tell you that dogs just aren't that good at putting the sequence together.  They respond to our emotions.  Well, Cesar, I agree--but why was he cowering before I even stepped in the room?

Needless to say, if there is a realm called Infinity, Buzz is finally beyond it.  Because we love our children and because we continue to try and show this love to them in tangible, meaningful ways, we won't succumb to the temptation to go out and buy every single gift we think we should.  But this one, because of the need for healing, will likely be replaced in the near future.  As Liam was placed into his crib he started to say, "Buzz. . .Buzz. . . "  Thanks, son.  Break my heart a bit more, please.  I had to tell him that I was going to look for him and see if I could find him.  I knew where to look. . .somewhere beyond infinity.

We love you, Liam.  And we will always do what we can to show you so.  As for you, Heinz?  Not so much right now.  Talk to me in the morning.

AND I PAID RETAIL!!!!

Blessed Christmas

Joy amidst some sadness characterizes the start of this Christmas season in 2010.  It has been an overwhelming year, and on this night before the Eve of Christmas, I'm feeling every bit of it.  Parenthood is exhausting.  Ministry is exhausting.  Family struggles are exhausting.  Roller-coaster days of emotion, the stress of culminating events, the schedule that doesn't yield--it can all be draining.  Yet, I am not discouraged.  I'm not burnt-out (not even remotely).  I'm not unhappy (quite the contrary).  I'm not in disbelief (I believe more strongly than ever before).

The best part of my life these days continues to be my family.  Kelly, now happy in a new job, provides amazing support for me in the relentless call that God places on those who work in the church.  The fact that she also works in a church makes this much easier.  My boys bring me more joy than I can find words to express.  It's not that every moment is bliss--hardly true.  When they are tired, they wear me out.  And I've lost my patience too many times with them. . .even today.  But they are such wonderful additions to my life that they have become part of what defines me.  I would do anything for them.

Our ministry has proven challenging this past year, more than I ever expected.  There are no regrets, but we've tackled a building project--something that will try the most tested pastor.  Yet, we are on our way and the process is full of hope.  We've changed many staff people, we have endeavored into new areas of mission, and we have pushed the limits as we know them.  And in this final week of Advent, we have said goodbye to four people within our church community.  Death is especially hard this time of year, while we are so focused on preparing for new life.  Yet, there is no better time to proclaim the gospel than at the Advent of Jesus.

There is so much for which to be grateful, and even amidst the sorrow of death, divorce, broken relationships, of lost faith, of vengeful spirits, of hopeless cynics--even when we are dog-tired, I'm full of joy today.  I think tomorrow looks just as good.