Dear Friends,
Back to school again! As we move into the Fall season, and as I notice the lack of Fall weather we are used to in the north, it’s refreshing to see these new beginnings of a school year. As usual, it sneaks up on us and causes us to utter those words, “Back to school already?” I’m still recovering from the Spring. What happened to Summer? Ah, the cycle of life continues.
Today, as I write this, my little baby is turning 3 years old. At the same time, I’m grieving a very sad loss of some of our Pittsburgh friends. Their son died in the middle of the night over the weekend, due to a freak health problem that no one could have foreseen. He was 7 years old. As a parent, I am feeling the gut-wrenching response in a whole new way. And the more I watch my own children grow, the more painful news like this seems to hit me. I cannot imagine the position of those parents, but I can see the pain that might be inflicted if it were my own that were taken from me at such an age. Death is not easy, it is not ever expected, and even when we know the time has come—rarely is it experienced with grace. As a pastor I get to watch families go through that process—a privilege to be able to stand alongside the dying and those they leave behind. But no level of preparation, solid theology, or counseling can make the emotions change. People need to grieve, they need closure, they need acceptance. Ignoring these realities is not helpful, but often saying words that are meant to comfort are not helpful either. And as I think about the response that we have as social, relational beings, the best we can hope to do for those who grieve is simply be present.
In the moments of death and the moments that follow, I think the greatest need of those who are grieving is to know that they are not alone. It is a state of loneliness, a time of vulnerability, a place of huge questions. But in the state that most find themselves, no answers will suffice. It is emotion that demands the response and the emotion does not seek a rational answer. The emotion of grief only wants to know that it is not alone.
In the benchmarks that are reached by each person as he/she grows up, moments of the past must die, just as moments of the present and future are born. Today is also the first day of school for many around here. Parents are both joyful and grieving. Their little ones are beginning kindergarten, but their baby-hood has come to a close. A world of emotions once again floods the life cycle. But when we baptize our little ones we are acknowledging that they really aren’t ours. We are recognizing that they are God’s more so than any possession we might keep. And maybe it’s a way to let go, or a way to cope when they are suddenly taken from this life, but it’s also entrusting to God’s care the ones who mean so very much to us. And we don’t have to live without faith in the darkest times because we have acknowledged that we have not only entrusted, but we have also trusted. God will take care, God knows more than we can know, and it really is going to be okay. God’s peace for the journey. . .
Peace, Love, Hope and Joy,
Tim
